Using EMDR to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse

Bay Area CBT Center

July 21, 2024

Narcissistic abuse leaves lasting emotional damage that standard therapies struggle to address. Using EMDR to heal from narcissistic abuse, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, offers a specialized approach to help survivors reprocess these traumatic memories more effectively. By focusing on reducing the emotional charge of these memories, EMDR aids in the healing process from narcissistic abuse and helps rebuild self-esteem. This article explains how EMDR works and its specific benefits for those recovering from narcissistic abuse.

Key Takeaways

Narcissistic abuse involves a range of manipulative tactics leading to severe emotional and psychological trauma, making it crucial to recognize and address these impacts for effective healing.
EMDR therapy uses bilateral stimulation to help survivors of narcissistic abuse process traumatic memories, reduce emotional distress, and develop healthier cognitive patterns and self-beliefs.
The structured eight-phase process of EMDR therapy, including history-taking, preparation, desensitization, and reevaluation, ensures comprehensive healing by addressing all aspects of the client’s traumatic experiences.

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

Illustration of a person with a shattered self-esteem

Narcissistic abuse involves a range of emotional, psychological, financial, and verbal abuses inflicted by someone with narcissistic personality disorder or traits. These abusers often use manipulative tactics like gaslighting and love bombing to control and dominate their victims. The constant manipulation, criticism, and belittlement can severely damage a victim’s self-esteem, leaving them with long-lasting emotional scars and trauma.

The impact of narcissistic abuse extends beyond emotional damage. Victims often struggle with:

Trust issues
Forming and maintaining healthy relationships
Deep-seated self-doubt
Difficulty in setting boundaries

These challenges further complicate their interactions with others.

Children who grow up with narcissistic parents may develop anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment styles, which affect their ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood. The trauma inflicted by narcissistic abuse can manifest in various mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders, eating disorders, and even the potential to develop narcissistic personality disorder in some cases, as a result of other distressing life experiences related to mental disorders. It’s important to recognize and address a mental health condition early on to ensure proper treatment and support.

Recognizing the signs and understanding the profound effects of this abuse is a crucial step towards beginning the healing process. Acknowledgment of the damage caused by narcissistic abuse enables survivors to commence their journey to recovery and rebuild their self-esteem and emotional well-being.

How EMDR Therapy Can Help with Narcissistic Abuse

EMDR therapy, also known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, helps alleviate distress associated with traumatic memories. It is a powerful form of psychotherapy treatment. This approach involves using bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, to help clients process and reframe disturbing memories in a healthier way. For survivors of narcissistic abuse, EMDR therapy can be particularly beneficial in reducing the emotional charge linked to those traumatic memories.

During EMDR therapy, a trained therapist guides clients through recalling traumatic memories while focusing on bilateral stimulation, which helps lessen the emotional intensity of these memories. This process facilitates a regulated nervous system, allowing individuals to process trauma more effectively and develop healthier core beliefs and neural connections. By addressing past incidents, current issues, and future scenarios, EMDR therapy helps survivors of narcissistic abuse integrate traumatic memories into the brain’s natural healing process.

The structured nature of EMDR therapy, encompassing attention to the past, present, and future, makes it a comprehensive approach to healing from narcissistic abuse. Through a series of EMDR sessions, survivors can experience significant reductions in distressing emotions and develop skills and attitudes for positive future actions.

This therapeutic method not only helps in processing traumatic memories but also in fostering a sense of empowerment and resilience.

The Eight Phases of EMDR Therapy

EMDR therapy follows a structured process that includes eight specific phases designed to help clients and clinicians understand past events, current experiences, and desired future outcomes. This systematic approach ensures that every aspect of the client’s traumatic experience is addressed, promoting thorough healing and recovery.

The eight phases of EMDR therapy include:

History and treatment planning
Preparation
Assessment
Desensitization
Installation
Body scan
Closure
Reevaluation

Each phase plays a critical role in the therapeutic process, guiding clients from the initial stages of understanding their trauma to the final stages of solidifying positive changes and ensuring long-term recovery.

Phase 1: History and Treatment Planning

The first phase of EMDR therapy focuses on history-taking and treatment planning. During this phase, EMDR therapists assess the client’s readiness for EMDR and gather detailed information about their past, including childhood experiences and relationships. This comprehensive intake helps in identifying EMDR processing targets and developing a treatment plan tailored to the client’s specific needs.

Clients complete questionnaires and screening tools to establish baseline symptoms of depression and anxiety, which aids in evaluating progress throughout the therapy. Initial EMDR processing may focus on childhood events if the client had a problematic upbringing, ensuring that foundational issues are addressed early in the treatment.

Phase 2: Preparation

The preparation phase plays a pivotal role in preparing clients to manage emotional distress during and between sessions. Therapists teach various coping techniques, including imagery and stress reduction exercises like the Peaceful Place or Calm Place and the Container. These tools help clients stay within their ‘window of tolerance’ and maintain emotional balance throughout the therapy process.

Phase 3: Assessment

During the assessment phase, clients and therapists collaboratively identify traumatic memories to reprocess, using the diagnostic and statistical manual as a reference. Clients rate the disturbance level of each traumatic event on a scale from 0 to 10, which helps inform the treatment plan and prioritize the most distressing traumatic events.

In this phase, clients:

Identify a vivid visual image related to the traumatic memory
Identify a negative belief about themselves
Identify the associated emotions and body sensations

This comprehensive assessment ensures that all aspects of the traumatic memory are addressed during the reprocessing phases.

Processing Traumatic Memories from Narcissistic Abuse

Illustration of desensitizing distressing memories

Phases 4-6 of EMDR therapy are critical for processing traumatic memories. These phases involve desensitizing distressing memories, reinforcing positive beliefs, and addressing any residual physical sensations. This systematic approach helps in reprocessing and reframing traumatic experiences, promoting thorough healing and recovery.

Phase 4: Desensitization

Desensitization aims to diminish the emotional intensity associated with traumatic memories of narcissistic abuse. During this phase, clients focus on disturbing memories while engaging in bilateral stimulation techniques, such as eye movements, to reduce emotional distress. The therapist monitors and assesses the level of disturbance regarding the target memory until the distress reduces significantly.

The goal of this phase is to process the traumatic memories until they no longer trigger intense emotional reactions. By repeatedly recalling the disturbing event while receiving bilateral stimulation, clients can reprocess traumatic memories in a healthier way, ultimately reducing the distressing physiological response they elicit.

A trained EMDR therapist assists in this process, ensuring that the client’s distress is managed effectively and that the traumatic memories are integrated into the brain’s natural healing process. This phase is essential for helping survivors of narcissistic abuse reduce the emotional charge linked to their traumatic experiences.

Phase 5: Installation

Illustration of reinforcing positive beliefs

The installation phase focuses on reinforcing positive beliefs to replace the negative ones associated with the traumatic memory. During this phase, clients are encouraged to adopt positive self-beliefs, which are then solidified with bilateral stimulation. This process helps promote healthier cognitive patterns and enhances self-esteem.

By strengthening a positive belief, the installation phase counteracts the negative thoughts formed due to narcissistic abuse. This phase plays a significant role in aiding clients to develop a more positive self-image and foster a sense of empowerment.

Phase 6: Body Scan

The body scan phase involves:

Identifying and resolving any residual physical sensations linked to the traumatic memory
Clients are asked to scan their bodies to detect any tension or discomfort associated with the trauma
Aiming for complete resolution of the distress

This phase helps address unresolved physical distress and promotes holistic healing.

Closure and Reevaluation in EMDR Therapy

The final phases of EMDR therapy, closure and reevaluation, ensure the client’s safety and progress at the end of each session and the beginning of the next. These phases address any remaining emotional distress and solidify the positive beliefs established during earlier phases.

Phase 7: Closure

Closure aims to help the client return to a state of calm in the present moment. During this phase, therapists guide clients in self-soothing techniques and ensure they are in a balanced state before ending each session. This process involves creating a sense of safety and grounding, allowing clients to express any emotions that arise during the session.

Clients are encouraged to practice self-care and use the coping mechanisms learned during therapy to maintain stability between sessions. The aim of this phase is to safeguard the client’s emotional well-being and prepare them for the subsequent steps in their healing journey.

Phase 8: Reevaluation

Reevaluation involves:

Reviewing the progress made in therapy
Determining if further sessions are needed
Collaboratively reassessing the client’s current state
Addressing any remaining symptoms of trauma

This ensures that the talk therapy is effective and that any unresolved issues are addressed promptly.

The therapist and client also determine future targets and directions for continued treatment. This phase helps in maintaining the momentum of healing and ensures that the client continues to make progress towards recovery.

Benefits of Using EMDR for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors

Illustration of brain healing and self-confidence development

EMDR therapy offers numerous benefits for survivors of narcissistic abuse, including:

Integrating traumatic memories
Facilitating the brain’s natural healing process
Reducing trauma-related symptoms
Promoting emotional regulation
Helping individuals develop healthier core beliefs
Regaining self-confidence

Research shows that EMDR therapy is highly effective in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), also known as posttraumatic stress disorder. For example, 84%-90% of single-trauma victims no longer have PTSD after three 90-minute sessions, and 77% of combat veterans were free of PTSD in 12 sessions. These impressive results highlight the potential for EMDR to help survivors of narcissistic abuse achieve significant reductions in emotional distress through a well-structured EMDR practice.

By reprocessing abusive memories and reinforcing positive beliefs, EMDR therapy empowers survivors to rebuild their lives and foster healthier relationships. This approach not only addresses past trauma but also equips individuals with the skills and resilience needed for a brighter future.

Finding an EMDR Certified Therapist

Securing the right EMDR certified therapist, who is also a mental health provider, is vital for the effectiveness of the treatment. Seek an EMDR trauma therapist experienced with personality disorders and understanding the impact of narcissistic abuse. One must consider the therapist’s education and credentials, particularly their orientation and framework, such as being a member of the American Psychiatric Association.

If the narcissist was a parent, ensure the therapist understands attachment theory, as this knowledge is vital for addressing attachment issues. Prioritize building a good connection and trust with the therapist from the beginning. Feeling out the therapist before committing is important—look for a sense of excitement, upliftment, and familiarity during initial interactions.

Avoid therapists with styles similar to the abuser or a missing figure in your life, which could hinder your healing process. Check the therapist’s confidence when they offer to help and ask directly if they believe they can assist you. This diligence ensures you find a supportive and effective therapist for your healing journey.

Summary

In summary, EMDR therapy offers a structured and effective approach to healing from the traumatic effects of narcissistic abuse. By following the eight phases of EMDR therapy, survivors can process distressing memories, reinforce positive beliefs, and address residual physical sensations. This comprehensive therapeutic method helps in reducing trauma-related symptoms and fostering a sense of empowerment and resilience.

As you embark on your healing journey, remember that finding a qualified and supportive EMDR therapist is crucial. With the right guidance and a commitment to self-care, you can overcome the emotional scars of narcissistic abuse and rebuild a healthier, more fulfilling life.

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Narcissistic Abuse Therapy

Frequently Asked Questions

What is evidence-based therapy?

Evidence-based therapy involves interventions that are scientifically proven to be effective for particular issues. In this approach, a strong partnership based on trust and collaboration is formed between you and your therapist. Within this supportive and unbiased environment, you can freely express yourself without fear of judgment. Over a series of sessions, you and your therapist will work together to address obstacles and set goals aimed at personal growth and fulfillment. This method ensures that the techniques and strategies used are not only supportive but also empirically validated to help you achieve your therapeutic goals.

Who do we work with?

The Bay Area CBT Center provides therapy services for everyone, from children to adults, and welcomes individuals, couples, and groups. We help with various concerns like anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, and behavior challenges. We value diversity and cultural differences, offering personalized and culturally sensitive care to each client.

Why is it so important to find the right therapist?

Studies show that the bond between you and your therapist, known as the therapeutic alliance, is a key factor in treatment success. This alliance is characterized by the strength of your relationship and how well you both agree on treatment goals. Research indicates that individuals with a solid therapeutic alliance experience better treatment outcomes including greater productivity at work, more satisfying relationships, improved stress management, and decreased engagement in risky behaviors.

What should I expect from the matching appointment?

You can expect a 15-30 minute phone call with our care coordinator, who is extensively trained in ensuring the perfect match for you. During this conversation, our matching expert will collaborate with you to understand your therapy needs, preferences, and scheduling availability. This discussion builds upon the information you provided during sign-up and offers an opportunity for you to address any personal questions or concerns you may have about therapy or our services at The Bay Area CBT Center. Following your conversation, we’ll pair you with the therapist who best aligns with your needs, goals, and preferences.

When will I be matched to a Therapist?

At your matching appointment, we will match you with a therapist specifically chosen for you and schedule your first session. Depending on your availability, you can expect to meet your therapist anywhere from one day to a week after this appointment.

Do you provide in-person or virtual therapy?

Our approach to therapy includes a flexible hybrid model, blending both online and face-to-face sessions. This option is perfect for clients situated close to our clinics in the Bay Area who prefer the flexibility of choosing between virtual consultations or meeting their therapist in person. Our aim with hybrid care is to ensure every client is matched with the ideal therapist and therapy environment, be it from the convenience of your own home or in one of our clinics.

Do you accept insurance?

At the Bay Area CBT Center, we accept PPO insurance plans that allow you to use out-of-network providers. This means if your insurance plan is a PPO and it includes mental health benefits, you could get back some or all of the money you pay for our services, depending on what your insurance company allows. When you see one of our therapists, they’ll give you a superbill. You can send this superbill to your insurance company to ask for reimbursement. If you’re not sure if your insurance covers services from providers not in their network, it’s a good idea to give them a call and check.

You may be eligible to have 60-80% of your costs covered by out-of-network benefits.

Also, if you have an FSA (Flexible Spending Account), you can usually use it to pay for individual counseling sessions. It’s wise to double-check with your FSA provider or talk to your accountant to make sure that counseling sessions are considered an allowed expense.