Relationship Schemas Questionnaire

The following questionnaire will help you determine which schemas are most relevant for you in relationships. Schemas are core beliefs or stories that we have developed about ourselves and others in relationships. When we are unware of these stories we are more likely to engage in behaviors that create a self-fulfilling prophecy and reinforce these beliefs. Your responses can provide you with insight into your relationship patterns and dynamics as well as information that will help you deal more effectively in your relationships.

Note: This questionnaire is for informational purposes only and is not intended to function as a psychological assessment or a clinical diagnosis. If you have any questions about your results, please speak with a qualified health professional.


For each statement, choose the answer that best describes you. At the end of the questionnaire you will receive your results for each schema and how it may be impacting your relationships.

This questionnaire has 110 questions on 4 pages.


Page 1 of 4

1. I feel unsatisfied and disappointed in myself if I don’t meet my standards.
2. I often feel dissatisfied or unfulfilled in my intimate relationships.
3. I often worry that others may judge me or misinterpret me.
4. I feel like a failure if I am not excelling at most of what I do.
5. It’s difficult for me to make important decisions on my own.
6. I am not a priority for others.
7. I feel overwhelmed by tasks that I have to get done on my own.
8. It’s hard for me to put my own needs first.
9. I rarely get the love, affection, and attention that I need.
10. I fear that others will use my flaws and weaknesses against me.
11. I can’t rely on others to be there for me consistently.
12. I often feel alone in my relationships.
13. Other people’s needs are more important than mine.
14. I often feel at fault for problems in my relationships.
15. People in my life don’t make my feelings and needs important.
16. It is difficult for me to take “no” for an answer.
17. I always know what I want and how to get it.
18. I worry whether people I'm close to are being completely honest with me.
19. I feel controlled by others.
20. I need to be careful and guarded with people and what I share with them.
21. It’s difficult for me to accomplish daily tasks without help.
22. I need assistance from certain people in order to get things done.
23. I fear that others will mislead or manipulate me.
24. I often need reassurance from others before making decisions.
25. I often agree to do things that I later realize I did not want to do.
26. I get angry when things don't go the way I want them to.
27. I get frustrated when I don’t get what I want.
28. I feel a lot of shame about myself.
29. I am good at understanding people and helping others.
30. If others really knew me, they wouldn’t accept me.