Relationship Schemas Questionnaire

The following questionnaire will help you determine which schemas are most relevant for you in relationships.

Schemas are core beliefs or stories that we have developed about ourselves and others in relationships. When we are unware of these stories we are more likely to engage in behaviors that create a self-fulfilling prophecy and reinforce these beliefs. Your responses can provide you with insight into your relationship patterns and dynamics as well as information that will help you deal more effectively in your relationships.

Note: This questionnaire is for informational purposes only and is not intended to function as a psychological assessment or a clinical diagnosis. If you have any questions about your results, please speak with a qualified health professional.


We are conducting some cool research about schemas and would really appreciate your participation. If you’re willing to have your results used in our anonymous research studies, please answer a few questions after you have taken this questionnaire. We would greatly appreciate your participation.


For each statement, choose the answer that best describes you. At the end of the questionnaire you will receive your results for each schema and how it may be impacting your relationships.

This questionnaire has 110 questions on 4 pages.


Page 1 of 4

1. I make more mistakes than others.
2. It seems like others have achieved more than I have.
3. I'm often worrying about people I love pulling away or distancing from me.
4. It’s difficult for me to make important decisions on my own.
5. I always know what I want and how to get it.
6. I often disappointment others.
7. I get frustrated and angry when people don't see things my way.
8. I need to be careful and guarded with people and what I share with them.
9. I often feel at fault for problems in my relationships.
10. I often agree to do things that I later realize I did not want to do.
11. I don’t make good decisions.
12. Most people break promises and/or lie.
13. I can’t rely on others to be there for me consistently.
14. I heavily depend on others for help in my daily life.
15. It is difficult for me to take “no” for an answer.
16. It’s difficult for me to spend time away from my partner.
17. I go along with things that I don’t really want to do.
18. I feel a lot of shame about myself.
19. I fear that others will use my flaws and weaknesses against me.
20. I often feel trapped in relationships.
21. I have trouble making my own wants and needs known.
22. I fear that if I don’t meet people’s needs that they will punish me or retaliate against me.
23. My relationships feel unstable and unpredictable.
24. I worry that people I’m close to will use me or take advantage of me.
25. I don’t trust the people in my life to be reliably available for me.
26. It’s difficult for me to accomplish daily tasks without help.
27. I rarely get the love, affection, and attention that I need.
28. People are always leaving me.
29. I am good at prioritizing my own needs above others.
30. I expect nothing less than perfection from myself.