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Relationship Schemas Questionnaire

The following questionnaire will help you determine which schemas are most relevant for you in relationships.

Schemas are core beliefs or stories that we have developed about ourselves and others in relationships. When we are unware of these stories we are more likely to engage in behaviors that create a self-fulfilling prophecy and reinforce these beliefs. Your responses can provide you with insight into your relationship patterns and dynamics as well as information that will help you deal more effectively in your relationships.

Note: This questionnaire is for informational purposes only and is not intended to function as a psychological assessment or a clinical diagnosis. If you have any questions about your results, please speak with a qualified health professional.


We are conducting some cool research about schemas and would really appreciate your participation. If you’re willing to have your results used in our anonymous research studies, please answer a few questions after you have taken this questionnaire. We would greatly appreciate your participation.


For each statement, choose the answer that best describes you. At the end of the questionnaire you will receive your results for each schema and how it may be impacting your relationships.

This questionnaire has 110 questions on 4 pages.


Page 1 of 4

1. I feel disconnected and alienated from others in social situations.
2. I feel unsatisfied and disappointed in myself if I don’t meet my standards.
3. I often take on a caretaker role in my relationships.
4. It’s hard for me to put my own needs first.
5. I don’t feel worthy of love and acceptance.
6. I have very high standards and expectations for myself.
7. I feel guilty saying “no” to others.
8. I struggle with standing up for myself in relationships.
9. I have difficulty accepting praise.
10. If others really knew me, they wouldn’t accept me.
11. I fear getting engulfed or losing myself in relationships.
12. I can’t handle my problems on my own.
13. I must be extremely competent in everything I do.
14. I don’t fit in well with my circle of friends.
15. I rarely get my way with others.
16. I do what others want in order to avoid retaliation or negative consequences.
17. Nobody I desire would want to be with me if they really got to know me.
18. I worry whether people I'm close to are being completely honest with me.
19. I often feel a sense of panic at the thought of losing my partner.
20. I'm often worrying about people I love pulling away or distancing from me.
21. It seems like others have achieved more than I have.
22. There are things wrong with me that I fear others will discover.
23. I have too many faults to be completely accepted.
24. I am good at prioritizing my own needs above others.
25. It’s difficult for me to fit in when I'm in social situations.
26. I should have accomplished more than I have in life.
27. I can’t count on others to do what they say they will do.
28. It’s difficult for me to make important decisions on my own.
29. I have trouble making my own wants and needs known.
30. I am good at understanding people and helping others.