Skip to main content

Relationship Schemas Questionnaire

The following questionnaire will help you determine which schemas are most relevant for you in relationships.

Schemas are core beliefs or stories that we have developed about ourselves and others in relationships. When we are unware of these stories we are more likely to engage in behaviors that create a self-fulfilling prophecy and reinforce these beliefs. Your responses can provide you with insight into your relationship patterns and dynamics as well as information that will help you deal more effectively in your relationships.

Note: This questionnaire is for informational purposes only and is not intended to function as a psychological assessment or a clinical diagnosis. If you have any questions about your results, please speak with a qualified health professional.


We are conducting some cool research about schemas and would really appreciate your participation. If you’re willing to have your results used in our anonymous research studies, please answer a few questions after you have taken this questionnaire. We would greatly appreciate your participation.


For each statement, choose the answer that best describes you. At the end of the questionnaire you will receive your results for each schema and how it may be impacting your relationships.

This questionnaire has 110 questions on 4 pages.


Page 1 of 4

1. I am good at prioritizing my own needs above others.
2. I have the right to break certain rules that shouldn’t apply to me.
3. I often need reassurance from others before making decisions.
4. Most people break promises and/or lie.
5. If others really knew me, they wouldn’t accept me.
6. I lack a sense of community or belonging.
7. I tend to set unreasonable deadlines and goals for myself.
8. It’s difficult for me to accomplish daily tasks without help.
9. I often feel a sense of panic at the thought of losing my partner.
10. I go along with things that I don’t really want to do.
11. It’s difficult for me to make important decisions on my own.
12. I am not able to live up to my full potential.
13. I rarely get the love, affection, and attention that I need.
14. I worry whether people I'm close to are being completely honest with me.
15. I expect nothing less than perfection from myself.
16. I often feel trapped in relationships.
17. I make more mistakes than others.
18. I often disappointment others.
19. I feel disconnected and alienated from others in social situations.
20. I often agree to do things that I later realize I did not want to do.
21. I get frustrated when I don’t get what I want.
22. It seems like others have achieved more than I have.
23. I do things I don't want to do in order to avoid disappointing others.
24. Other people’s needs are more important than mine.
25. I'm often worrying about people I love pulling away or distancing from me.
26. I feel like a failure if I am not excelling at most of what I do.
27. It’s difficult for me to spend time away from my partner.
28. I fear that others will mislead or manipulate me.
29. I am highly critical of myself when I make mistakes.
30. I shouldn’t have to accept limitations placed on me by others.