Schema therapy3 minutes
Which Schema Just Fired?
When you're fighting an urge
For reactions that feel far bigger than the thing that caused them.
- Rate the reaction 0–100. If it's above a 60 for something small, an old pattern is involved.
- Ask: how old do I feel right now? Note the first number that comes.
- Ask: what is this telling me about myself? — I'm being abandoned, I'm defective, I'm being controlled, my needs don't matter.
- Name the coping move you're about to make: give in, get out, or go on the attack.
- Then choose the response you'd actually stand behind tomorrow.
Why it works: An outsized reaction usually means something older got triggered alongside the present event. Separating the two gives you back the choice about how to respond now.