← All mindfulness practices

Urge management5 minutes

Urge Surfing

When you're fighting an urge

For any urge you don't want to act on — checking their phone, sending the message, the drink, the scroll.

  1. Notice the urge without acting. Say to yourself: an urge is here.
  2. Locate it in your body. Where does wanting actually feel like something?
  3. Rate its intensity 0–100.
  4. Picture it as a wave. It rises, it peaks, it falls. Your job is to stay on the board, not to stop the wave.
  5. Re-rate every minute. Keep breathing. Don't distract yourself — watch it.

Why it works: Urges are self-limiting. Most peak within 20–30 minutes and subside whether or not you act. Acting is what teaches your brain the urge had to be obeyed — riding it out teaches the opposite.

Longer version: The Return Between Shores guided meditation