Advanced · Interpersonal5 minutes
Just Like Me
If you've done this before
For the person you've written off — an ex, a difficult colleague, your partner mid-conflict, a family member.
- Picture them clearly. Include the part of them you find hard.
- Say, one line at a time, slowly: This person has a body that hurts, just like me.
- This person has been disappointed, just like me. Has been afraid of being left, just like me.
- This person is doing the best they know how with what they were given, just like me.
- Finish with: May you have some peace. May I have some peace.
Why it works: Contempt requires seeing someone as a different kind of creature than you are. This practice makes that position hard to hold. It doesn't require forgiving them, agreeing with them, or staying in the relationship — it only loosens the grip of contempt, which is usually costing you more than it costs them.