Relationship Schemas Questionnaire

The following questionnaire will help you determine which schemas are most relevant for you in relationships. Schemas are core beliefs or stories that we have developed about ourselves and others in relationships. When we are unware of these stories we are more likely to engage in behaviors that create a self-fulfilling prophecy and reinforce these beliefs. Your responses can provide you with insight into your relationship patterns and dynamics as well as information that will help you deal more effectively in your relationships.

Note: This questionnaire is for informational purposes only and is not intended to function as a psychological assessment or a clinical diagnosis. If you have any questions about your results, please speak with a qualified health professional.


For each statement, choose the answer that best describes you. At the end of the questionnaire you will receive your results for each schema and how it may be impacting your relationships.

This questionnaire has 110 questions on 4 pages.


Page 1 of 4

1. I try to hide my flaws from others.
2. I rarely find someone who can truly understand me or empathize with me.
3. I need assistance from certain people in order to get things done.
4. No one is able to provide me with the emotional support and care that I need.
5. I don’t trust the people in my life to be reliably available for me.
6. I fear that others will use my flaws and weaknesses against me.
7. I have many more excellent qualities than the average person.
8. I feel inferior to others.
9. It is difficult for me to count and depend on others.
10. Other people’s needs are more important than mine.
11. I rarely get my way with others.
12. I struggle with standing up for myself in relationships.
13. I often agree to do things that I later realize I did not want to do.
14. It’s difficult for me to accomplish daily tasks without help.
15. I often feel that my accomplishments are not good enough and notice the ways I could have done better.
16. I lack a sense of community or belonging.
17. I feel overwhelmed by tasks that I have to get done on my own.
18. It’s difficult for me to fit in when I'm in social situations.
19. I am good at prioritizing my own needs above others.
20. I shouldn’t have to accept limitations placed on me by others.
21. I always know what I want and how to get it.
22. I am not a priority for others.
23. It’s difficult for me to make important decisions on my own.
24. I often feel like an outsider.
25. I don’t make good decisions.
26. I can’t rely on others to be there for me consistently.
27. I go along with things that I don’t really want to do.
28. If others really knew me, they wouldn’t accept me.
29. I make more mistakes than others.
30. I am not able to live up to my full potential.