Relationship Schemas Questionnaire

The following questionnaire will help you determine which schemas are most relevant for you in relationships. Schemas are core beliefs or stories that we have developed about ourselves and others in relationships. When we are unware of these stories we are more likely to engage in behaviors that create a self-fulfilling prophecy and reinforce these beliefs. Your responses can provide you with insight into your relationship patterns and dynamics as well as information that will help you deal more effectively in your relationships.

Note: This questionnaire is for informational purposes only and is not intended to function as a psychological assessment or a clinical diagnosis. If you have any questions about your results, please speak with a qualified health professional.


For each statement, choose the answer that best describes you. At the end of the questionnaire you will receive your results for each schema and how it may be impacting your relationships.

This questionnaire has 110 questions on 4 pages.


Page 1 of 4

1. I often feel a sense of panic at the thought of losing my partner.
2. I am good at prioritizing my own needs above others.
3. I rarely get my way with others.
4. I often feel like an outsider.
5. It’s difficult for me to spend time away from my partner.
6. I often feel unseen or unloved in my relationships.
7. I shouldn’t have to accept limitations placed on me by others.
8. I feel inferior to others.
9. I feel disconnected and alienated from others in social situations.
10. I lack a sense of community or belonging.
11. I get frustrated and angry when people don't see things my way.
12. Nobody I desire would want to be with me if they really got to know me.
13. I worry that I will be rejected or scapegoated in social groups.
14. I try to hide my flaws from others.
15. I need more nurturing and understanding then others can give me in my relationships.
16. People are always leaving me.
17. I put alot of pressure on myself to excel and succeed.
18. It’s difficult for me to make important decisions on my own.
19. I fear that others will use my flaws and weaknesses against me.
20. I have difficulty accepting praise.
21. I rarely find someone who can truly understand me or empathize with me.
22. I often take on a caretaker role in my relationships.
23. I feel very different and separated from others.
24. I go along with things that I don’t really want to do.
25. I expect nothing less than perfection from myself.
26. I put other people's needs above my own to avoid feeling selfish.
27. I don’t get as much understanding and support as I need.
28. I have the right to break certain rules that shouldn’t apply to me.
29. I do things I don't want to do in order to avoid disappointing others.
30. I do what others want in order to avoid retaliation or negative consequences.