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Bay Area CBT Center · Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

The Choice Point

Every hard moment is a fork. One road takes you toward the person you want to be. The other takes you away from them — and it is almost always the road that feels better in the next ten minutes. The point of this worksheet is not to stop having the difficult thoughts and feelings. It is to notice which road you are on while you are still on it.

How this works

  1. Pick a real situation, not a general theme. “My partner didn't text back by 9pm,” not “my relationship.” The more specific the situation, the more useful everything below it gets.
  2. Name what hooks you. A hook is the thought, feeling, memory, or sensation that shows up and grabs the wheel. You are not trying to argue with it or get rid of it. You are just noticing it arrived.
  3. Sort your behavior into towards and away. Away moves are what you do to escape the discomfort. Towards moves are what you'd do if the discomfort weren't running the show. The same behavior can be either depending on why you're doing it.
  4. Be honest that away moves work. They do — briefly. That is exactly why they're hard to give up. Write down what they actually get you, then write down what they cost.
  5. Pick one towards move you could genuinely do, at the size you could do it today, hooked and all.

Away moves are not bad and you are not failing

Everyone makes away moves. The question is never “did I do it perfectly” — it is “did I notice, and how quickly did I come back.” Someone who catches an away move an hour in is doing something genuinely different from someone who never catches it, even if the first hour looked identical.

Step 1The situation

One specific moment. Where you were, who was there, what happened right before the difficulty showed up.

Keep this to what a camera would have recorded. Interpretations go in the next box, where they belong.

Step 2What hooked you

Tick whatever showed up. These are the things that grab the wheel — you are not judging them or trying to make them leave, just noticing that they arrived and that they have a grip on you.

Thoughts

The sentences your mind hands you, usually fast and usually in a familiar voice.

Feelings

The emotion underneath, which is often not the loud one on top.

Sensations

Where it landed in the body. Often the first thing to arrive and the last thing you notice.

Memories and urges

Older material showing up in a newer situation.

Step 3Away moves

Be honest here

What you actually did once the hook took hold — including the quiet ones. Withdrawing, going silent, over-explaining, and being extremely reasonable are all away moves if their job is to make the feeling stop.

Include the invisible ones. Shutting down is a move.

This matters. Away moves persist because they work — briefly. Naming the payoff is not endorsing it.

Longer term, and in the currency that matters — closeness, self-respect, time, the kind of person you're being.

Step 4What you actually want to be about

Not a goal — a direction. A goal can be finished; a value is how you want to travel. “Get them to apologise” is a goal. “Be someone who says the hard thing kindly” is a value.

If a stranger watched you handle this well, what would they say you cared about?

Step 5Towards moves

What you'd do if the hook were still there and you did it anyway. The hook does not have to leave first. Willingness is doing it while it's still uncomfortable.

List several. You are not committing to them yet, just showing yourself the road existed.

Shrink it until it is genuinely doable on a bad day. A small move you make beats a big one you don't.

Predicting the obstacle is most of the work. You're much likelier to follow through on something you've already seen coming.

If this is under 50, the towards move is probably too big. Shrink it until the number comes up.

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Not at all willingCompletely willing

Your privacy. Everything you enter stays in your own browser. Nothing is sent to Bay Area CBT Center and nothing is stored on our servers. Your answers are saved on this device only — use Clear all to erase them. This worksheet is an educational tool and is not therapy, a diagnosis, or a substitute for care. If you're having thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to a professional or a crisis line rather than working through this alone.