Tag Archives: social media

The Costs of Social Media Overuse and How to Practice Moderation

How many times have you walked into a restaurant or a movie theater and noticed that everyone is on their phone? Four friends might be sitting together having lunch, yet they are not really together, preferring to connect with a piece of technology, choosing to interact with an object rather than the people right in front of them. What does this mean about us? What are the implications for future generations? What is the long-term impact of this addiction to technology on modern relationships? What will the next generation look like?

Internet addiction affects nearly 6 percent of the global population. Symptoms of online addiction include anxiety, depression, euphoric feelings when in the presence of devices, lost sense of time, weight gain, and the avoidance of work. It also has serious ramifications for those in romantic relationships. Excessive usage of Twitter and Facebook has been linked to cheating, breakups and divorce, often rooted in conflicts over time spent on these platforms.

dreamstime_m_40519981Heavy internet use can cause people to identify more with online identities than real life ones. Online, you my find it easy to frame your life as one of total fulfillment and it’s likely that many in your network are doing the same. Because of this, it’s often easier to interact online because of its superficiality: it is simple to avoid awkward or vulnerable moments that reveal our insecurities and problems.

And there’s evidence that this is leading to an increasing preference for online interactions over those in real life. According to one study, one in four people spend more time on social media than in real-life social situations, and as many as 11 percent of adults prefer to spend a weekend communicating online than socializing.

The Other Side

Research indicates that social media use can make us feel sad. According to a study from the University of Michigan, the more participants used Facebook, the worse they felt. This, researchers said, is likely due to social comparisons. You most likely have experienced social comparisons when looking through your social network’s glamorous photos and happy messages and feel that your own life pales in comparison. Repeated exposure to these comparisons can lead to unhealthy beliefs about our self worth. A recent study has shown that social media can either increase or decrease feelings of loneliness, depending on how people use it. People who tend to be more passive online (reading other’s posts) are at a higher risk for increasing feelings of loneliness and a lack of belonging.

What can we do to reduce the negative effects of social media overuse?

  1. Practice moderation.

Just like in any other activity, moderation is the key. Too much social media can cripple your social skills, while too little can make you feel as though you are on the outside looking in. Use technology in a mindful way. Try to differentiate between online interactions and real life interactions. Whenever you hang out with your friends, turn off your smartphone and focus on face-to-face interactions. Conversely, when you’re on a business trip, social media can be a lifesaver because you can use it to chat with your friends and family.

  1. Change your perspective.

The first thing we need to recognize is that social media is just a tool like any other. We use it in order to make our lives a bit easier. Think about the main purpose of your online behavior. Is it a way of avoiding real life problems or is it a way of being more productive and efficient? Identifying the main reason why you choose to go online can make a difference.

  1. Assume responsibility.

Just like in real life, social media is a place where everybody is responsible for their own actions and each of us can choose effective and authentic behavior. Despite recent Internet laws and regulations, people are still somewhat free to do as they please, as long as they don’t cause harm to other people. Make sure that what you post (if it’s public) is something you’d be comfortable sharing with your future boss, your friends, and your family. Don’t act quickly or impulsively, take your time, choose your words, save an email as a draft before sending it.

  1. Be transparent.

Relationships are built on mutual respect and trust. Authentic connections are based on honesty and openness. If you want a lasting relationship with your significant other, being honest and open about your social media use, while at the same time keeping healthy boundaries, is the way to go.

As for collegial relationships, the best thing you can do is to act naturally in both real and online interactions. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just because you’re hidden behind a screen.

  1. Be mindful

It’s easy to get distracted by notifications. Social media, e-mails, news, videos, phone calls and text messages interrupt us hundreds of times every day.

Make sure you schedule some time every day in which you are fully aware of what you are doing, whether it’s brushing your teeth in the morning or talking to your significant other. Also practice doing one thing at a time. Some time off with no distractions helps you focus better, improves your cognitive abilities and your performance. It also reduces stress and tension, and this will allow you to enjoy your free time and the company of other people.

These 5 easy steps are only a guide that you can follow in order to improve your relationships and to reduce the negative effects of social media overuse. However, the most important thing is your inner voice and what it tells you. Learn how to pay attention to your needs. We’re not built to sit in front of a screen most of the day. Our bodies also need some time out in the nature. Don’t forget to also interact with real-world people and objects. Furthermore, learn to make the most of your time online by choosing to use what is helpful and removing what is simply noise and distraction.

Don’t forget that you are in charge of your actions and you might as well enjoy the whole process of building the lifestyle that you want for yourself!

Is Social Media Damaging our Relationships?

The excitement you feel when your social media post is “liked,” or otherwise validated, is due to the release of dopamine in your brain, which is also released during sex or a delicious meal. Increasingly, our brains are becoming conditioned and rewired to associate this boost of happiness with our online behaviors like social media, online games, email or aimless surfing.

Unsurprisingly, this leads to a host of emotional and social problems. But how serious is our dependency on mobile internet and social media, and what can we do to live with it in peace?

How Pervasive is Internet Addiction?

Internet addiction affects nearly 6 percent of the global population. Symptoms of online addiction include anxiety, depression, euphoric feelings around devices, lost sense of time, weight gain and the avoidance of work. It also has serious ramifications for those in romantic relationships. Excessive usage of Twitter and Facebook has been linked to cheating, breakups and divorce, often rooted in conflicts over time spent on these platforms.

How Do We Get Hooked?

Healthy self-soothing behaviors such as  exercising, reading, or meditating help us build effective coping strategies in the long run . Avoidance behaviors are automatic behaviors that  we do in order to try to get rid of distressing emotions such as boredom, insecurity, loneliness, shame, hurt, or uncertainty. internet addiction and social media - Oakland therapistThese behaviors usually make us feel better in the moment, but lead to more pain in the long run. Avoidance behaviors are short term solutions to long term problems and end up exacerbating our pain in the long run. These behaviors may include include drinking,  drug use, isolating, internet addiction, yelling, overeating, gossiping, and many others. Since similar chemicals are released when you get a “like” on Facebook and when you take drugs, many are turning to using the internet and social media as a way to escape negative feelings, like boredom or loneliness.

However, when we don’t cope with those feelings, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to better our lives. People who are able to tolerate uncomfortable emotions have more behavioral flexibility, they are better creative problem solvers, and are more likely to engage in adaptive coping responses such as reaching out to friends or make new acquaintances.

Online Identity Confusion

Beyond this addictive chemical reaction, another key issue with heavy internet use is in users identifying more with online identities than real life. Online, you my find it easy to frame your life as one of total fulfillment, and it’s likely many in your network are doing the same. Because of this, it’s often easier to interact online, as it is simple to avoid awkward or vulnerable moments that reveal our insecurities and problems.

And there’s evidence that this is leading to an increasing preference to online interactions over those in real life. According to one study, one in four spend more time on social media than in real-life social situations, and as many as 11 percent of adults prefer to spend a weekend communicating online than socializing.

When Social Media Makes us Feel Bad About Ourselves

Beyond their addictive properties, there are many occasions where social media, in particular makes us feel bad. My clients frequently tell me that Facebook makes them sad, and research bares this out. According to a sturdy from the University of Michigan, the more participants used Facebook, the worse they felt. This, researchers said, is likely due to social comparisons. You most likely have experienced social comparisons when looking your social network’s glamorous photos, happy messages and feel your own life pales in comparison. Repeated exposure to these comparisons can lead to unhealthy beliefs about our self worth.

 How to Use the Internet Mindfully

  • Though there are serious concerns, there’s no need to cancel your social media accounts or throw your cell phone in a lake. There are ways to live mindfully with the internet. We can enjoy its benefits without it draining us of our self-esteem and free time. Try these tips today to live with the internet in peace:
  • Track the amount of time you spend on social media and in real-life interactions.
  • Call a friend. Even if you haven’t spoken to this person in months, ask to spend some time together.
  • Make a point of silencing your mobile device when around your friends.
  • Pay attention to how often you pull out your mobile device out of necessity, and how often out of impulse, or urge. Note the emotions you experience.
  • Note the overall purpose of your social/mobile usage. What are you trying to accomplish with each post, text or interaction? Ask yourself if the message feels genuine.
  • What do you value in your relationships?
  • Are you behaving authentically—like you would in-person—or are you trying to put on a good face?
  • Limit how frequently you check your email and phone.

 

After you recognize which parts of your connected life make you feel good, and which make you feel bad, you’ll feel more confident in cutting out the latter. You’ll begin to feel more power over your device, rather than the other way around.